Not anymore, my dear
by Rad but sad
Summary: **One-Shot** Percy writes Annabeth a letter…


Dear Annabeth,

It's been a while since I last wrote you a letter. But I know for a fact that it's certainly the last. So…today I was looking through a few pictures of ours that I had completely forgot I had. And when I looked at them, I noticed how happy you are in the pictures. How you used to beam at the camera, hold my hand and say "cheese" without breaking down in laughter. And now…I realize how much things have changed. How you no longer beam at the camera. How you no longer hold my hand. How you just fake a smile and wait for the snap.

It troubles me to think about your not so subtle transition. It troubles me to think, actually, to know that we're struggling to keep this relationship alive. To know that we're holding on to something so fragile, it's surprising to see that it didn't collapse yet. We've been dragging this along for quite some time and we both know that it should've ended a long time ago.

I guess it brings me to say that…that I miss you. That I miss us. The old us. Not this. In the older days, when things used be simpler and not as complicated as they are now. When we used to call each other names. When you used to force me to go shopping with you. When run through the streets of our neighborhood, screaming at the top of our lungs just to show how much we didn't care. When we used to video chat from our bedrooms.

Looking back on it, it was a really bad idea for me to rediscover our old pictures. It kind of hurt to remember. It hurt knowing that I still love you as much as I did in the past, but to know that your love for me is slowly extinguishing. I hate it. It's the absolutely worst feeling I've ever experienced. It kills me to think about how blind I was. And now I feel stupid for not realizing that this was happening to us. I'm not over you. I need you to know this. I don't know when or if I will be.

Moving on, I saw you with him the other day. Luke Castellan. I know you two are just friends, trust me. But I just can't help knowing that I'm losing you to him. Don't try to tell me that I'm jealous. Because I know like hell that I am jealous of you two. But hey, who am I to try and come in between what you guys have. I'm nothing but a third wheel, even if I am your boyfriend. I'm starting to accept this.

I'm starting to learn things about him. Luke, I mean. We've hung out a few times. By a few, I mean like once. I've learned a lot. And if you were to go for him, I'd completely understand. I remember how we had an argument yesterday. How you told me that I was replaceable. But how could you say that? How could you say it directly to my face without flinching. You left me wondering. You left me wondering if I ever meant anything at all. Or if I was just an obstacle between you and him. But was he the one to hold you when argued with your dad? Was he the one you told all your secrets to? Does he know how to treat your sadness? Does he know not to talk about your mom? But even if you answered all these questions with a grieving "no", you'd still love him. More than you ever did for me.

You're happier when you see him than when you're with me. It's not an opinion. You love him. That's not an opinion, either. But that's okay, I think. Because I learned something. I learned about willpower. That if I want something really badly, I can make it happen. But I can't make you love me. And I learned that actions do indeed speak louder than words. Where I was more shy than extroverted. Where I would exhaust my lungs, telling you how much I loved you. And I meant it. But how he could wrap an arm around casually and you'd fall in love with him.

I'm not asking for a second chance with you. I'm going face to face with this realization. You could lie to me. You could say what you said you were when you met me. You could still be what you want to be. But that won't mean a thing to me. All I know is that somewhere between the lines, we messed up and things could never be the same. And I love you so much, even if I hate your guts. I'm sorry if I'm smothering you with this letter, but I need to get this out before I leave.

I'll be halfway across the world when you get this. Don't try and look for me, because you won't be able to find me. I don't want to be involved with you anymore. I don't ever want to see you again. And when you see our friends, tell them that I'm sorry. Tell them that I love them to pieces. As for you, I hope this letter sparks something inside you, that way it'll be proof that I ever meant anything to you. If not then you can tear this letter apart.

I cut up our pictures in half and I will be mailing your halves to you, as well as everything you've ever given me. I changed my phone number, so don't try to call me. As for everything that I've ever given you, pass them to Zoe and Nico. Or you could dispose of them. I wouldn't care less. Now that I'm pretty much closing with this letter, I've had a change in heart. Give my regards to Luke. And I hope you guys' love life resembles that of Romeo and Juliet. Especially the ending. And if you're wondering if I'll still think about you when I'm off…I won't. And if I'm still not over you? Not anymore, my dear.

My worst regards,

Percy Jackson-

* * *

**Feeling kinda moody.**


End file.
